It seems like many people think that talking about money is more taboo than talking about sex or politics.
Recently, I was on Facebook and someone I know asked their friends how much money they were saving each month. It seemed like a pretty harmless question.
They explained that they were asking for real numbers because they just began saving and simply wanted to talk with others about saving money.
Then, someone commented with something like, “Sharing actual numbers is disgusting. Use percentages, if you must.”
The conversation continued, others chimed in, and it became clear that openly talking about money made some people pretty angry. There was an overwhelming amount of people who said the whole conversation was tacky and that money should not be discussed, EVER.
Why does talking about money have to be so secretive? Is it really that tacky?
Having a financial blog means I get some interesting emails about this sort of thing, some from people who think it’s crazy that I publish income reports and talk about money so openly. So, I’m very aware of the stigma that comes with talking about money.
In fact, according to a survey conducted by Ally Bank, 70% of Americans think that it’s rude to talk about money. Respondents said they were more likely to disclose their income (39%) over savings (30%) or debt (29%) to family and friends.
And, it doesn’t end there. People don’t like to talk about how much they pay in rent, their monthly mortgage payment, or even how much they spend on internet service.
Why does your internet bill have to be secretive?
Talking about money is even seen as taboo among close family members, even among married couples. According to a survey done by Fidelity, 43% of respondents don’t know how much their partner earns, and 36% are unaware of the amount they have invested.
Here’s one last interesting study that I’d like to bring up, University College London found that people were seven times more likely to talk to a stranger about sex, affairs, and sexually transmitted diseases than discussing their salary.
You’d tell a stranger that you have an STD rather than tell them how much you make?
This is just crazy!
I think we should all be more open about money. Money is a topic that influences all of our lives, whether we want to believe it or not.
Related:
- 15 Reasons You’re Broke And Can’t Save Money
- 30+ Ways To Save Money Each Month
- 8 Things To Sell To Make Money
- How To Ditch The Revolving Debt Cycle
Here is why more people should start talking about money.
Talking about money can help you.
If you are someone that feels money talk is taboo, then it may be difficult to understand how openly talking about money can really help you out. If you aren’t talking about money, you may not know:
- How much of a raise to ask for.
- How to negotiate for the best salary.
- The average selling price for houses.
- What you should be paying in rent.
- Whether or not your expenses (utilities, phone, insurance, etc.) are normal or unusually high.
And, more than anything, without talking about money, it would be hard to realize that you need to improve your financial situation.
Many people don’t like talking about money because it becomes “too real.” They may even feel shame about their financial mistakes, or they may feel that they aren’t doing as well as others.
Well, you’re never going to do any better if you aren’t aware of your financial situation.
Being in the dark isn’t going to help anyone. It might actually hold you back because you’re just taking a random guess at everything.
However, if you know things like the average salary for a person in your position, you’ll be able to use that information to your benefit. It can help you negotiate a raise and start earning more.
Also, by knowing how much a person is paying for rent or even car insurance, you’ll know if you are paying too much. This can help you make changes that will allow you to start saving more money.
The list goes on and on.
Knowledge is power, and knowing more about money will help you!
Knowing your family’s finances is important.
If you take anything out of this article, it should be that fully understanding your family’s financial situation is a must.
There are many financial horror stories where one spouse doesn’t realize the other has hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. Or, one spouse thinks the family is financially sound, when in reality, the truth is the exact opposite.
I’ve heard so many people say that they have no idea what their monthly mortgage or rent payment is, they don’t know how much they are putting towards retirement, and so on.
Even more shocking, some are completely unaware of how much debt they have and can’t even estimate how much they owe. Or, if they do make a guess, their spouse blurts out how wrong they are.
Sadly, this is surprisingly common.
A family who has regular money talks and budget meetings is more likely to be financially successful and happier than a family that doesn’t.
There are many ways for these talks to help you and your family.
- You can work together and succeed. If you are both putting effort towards your financial goals, you can tackle them as a team and are much more likely to have a positive outcome.
- A lack of money communication can lead to financial infidelity. According to an article on Forbes, 20% of those in the U.S. keep financial secrets, and 7% of people between the ages of 18-49 have a secret bank account or a secret credit card they keep from their partner.
- Knowing your financial situation will help you keep a budget. Understanding your financial situation means you can create and keep a budget that works for you. You will know more about the amount of money you are spending, whether you are living paycheck to paycheck, and more.
- Being aware may prevent everything from falling on one person. Everyone should be aware of their financial situation. It’s not fair for one person to manage it all, and you would be in for a rude awakening if something were to happen to that person.
- Being involved can help you with your family’s goals. It would be quite difficult for a person to work towards their family’s financial goals if they weren’t aware of their financial situation. Being involved can help keep you motivated and know what’s going on.
- Regular money talks can lead to less fighting. When you are open about money in your relationship, you are less likely to have financial surprises and money fights. This is because conducting regular money talks and budget meetings means you will both be aware of what’s going on.
Recommended reading: Family Budget Meetings – Yes, You Need To Have Them
Talking about money doesn’t have to be awkward.
You shouldn’t be afraid to have money talks with friends and family. It doesn’t have to be awkward, and you can talk about money in a way that helps everyone.
Here are a few suggestions for talking about money with your family and friends:
- Talk about your financial goals and why you want to reach them.
- Share how much debt you have and how you’re trying to change it.
- If you know a great way to save money, share it with others.
- Brainstorm ideas for making more money.
There are many ways you can start talking about money with others in your life, and it can really help out everyone involved.
How does talking about money make you feel? Is talking about money taboo? Should it be?
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Talking about money does not make me uncomfortable but you are right that many people think that the money topic is a private issue. I think people need to have open conversations about money, especially spouses. Talking about money openly can help teach the younger generation to be wise with money.
I was at work the other day and one of my coworkers peeked over his desk and prefaced a question with “if it makes you uncomfortable or if you don’t want to answer just ignore me”. He then went on to ask how much my mortgage payment was and how I budgeted around it.
It turned out to be a great conversation especially since we are similar in age and income. Since then we have had a few more conversations along the same lines and it has been really enjoyable talking freely.
That sounds like a nice conversation 🙂 I enjoy when people feel comfortable enough to have those types of convos.
I was at work the other day and one of my coworkers peeked over his desk and prefaced a question with “if it makes you uncomfortable or if you don’t want to answer just ignore me”. He then went on to ask how much my mortgage payment was and how I budgeted around it.
It turned out to be a great conversation especially since we are similar in age and income. Since then we have had a few more conversations along the same lines and it has been really enjoyable talking freely.
I agree Nicole! Talking about money can help everyone feel more comfortable as well as smarter about it.
Thanks!
I totally understand where you are coming from. I live in Finland and here it’s a known fact that you should NEVER EVER ask anyone about money or their financial situation. Though I don’t quite understand since I myself am pretty open about where my money goes…
So interesting to hear about how it’s like around the world!
I don’t understand why, but agree that others see the topic being off limits and awkward. There are some friends that we can discuss this with, others we can discuss but not actual numbers, as mentioned above %, general numbers, and others I wouldn’t/haven’t ever bring the topic up knowing what the results would be.
So interesting!
This is a great point, and so true!
Even as a money blogger I’m uneasy about sharing my online income, even though I get so much inspiration from your reports and other bloggers – it’s just about how people you already know will view you I guess.
Talking about money is so important though – for me, even just talking more to others about creating more streams of income and cutting down my spending has opened up so many conversations!
Yes, definitely!
Yes, I agree that a conversation about finances can help you in the long run. A lot of things revolve around money and how you spend it. Yes knowledge is power. Thank you for this helpful post. As far as growing this blog, what challenges did you run into? I remember a post about you saving money and paying off debt. What were some of the challenges as far as that goes? Thank you in advance for your response.
I recommend looking at my monthly income reports where I talk about everything related to growing this blog 🙂 https://fund-rise.live/category/business-income%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E
Talking about your money goals is a great way to hold yourself accountable. Sharing a goal with a trusted friend is one of THE BEST ways to actually achieve that goal. For some reason it creates a higher sense of purpose/accountability.
That being said, I get why people don’t talk about their finances. It makes people awkward. It makes people feel resentful if they’re saving/earning less. It makes people feel awkward if they’re saving/earning more.
I try not to talk about specifics but I do talk about money all the time. I prefer to discuss my approach to money. My philosophy about savings/investing. I don’t need to share specifics but I can still talk to people about that.
That’s still a great approach!
I am not surprised at all by this what so ever. This was my hunch because even when I was a teenager I could smell the apprehension when money was brought up. It was like talking about your GPA or your exam score. Don’t forget salary!!
I blog without anyone personally knowing I blog. Just my husband. I have no problems with strangers knowing my NW but not my parents or FB friends.
Every point you make is absolutely true and every point was the exact opposite of what my parents did. It’s a point of pride and people have delicate egos. It’s utterly silly.
I was an anonymous blogger when I first started out 🙂
I think not talking about money just makes every generation worse off. Parents won’t even talk about their family finances with their kids which just makes their kids grown up and not know how to handle money.
I share our budget on my blog, which does occasionally make me a bit nervous because it feels personal. But I think everyone would be better off and more educated if we were all willing to talk to each other and learn from each other about money.
Yes, it definitely makes others worse off!
Isn’t this weird?? I love how someone actually used the word “disgusting” when talking about money. It’s just a product of our culture–we’re weird about money because, what? We think people will rob us? That they’ll resent us?
I’ve never been shy about sharing my numbers, but it’s created some sticky situations, so I can see why people don’t want to share them.
Right?!
Talking about money is Taboo in my family. I’m looking to change that. Discussing money will help my younger family members get better with it.
Yes, for sure!
The philosophy hails from the aristocracy and was adopted by other classes over time. While it is true that the subject is not openly discussed in general company, it is not correct that monetary concerns (and compatibility) were off topic. What the principle truly addressed is the social faux pas of inserting money into one’s dialogue as a means of flaunting, oneupmanship, or demeaning the other party.
Good etiquette (in my opinion), is the recognition that comfort levels are individually derived. It is not my expectation that openness begets the same in the other party. And I think there’s the necessity of a modicum of prudence in either case. No one tells everything, irrespective of the transparency they present. And it’s that awareness which enables me to respect those who opt to remain quiet about subjects I may feel greater comfort in discussing.
Thanks Sarah for sharing. Glad this is starting a great discussion 🙂
The funny thing is, that so many people don’t talk about money. But they do it in any other way and they don’t realize is. I mean, as you say the people don’t talk about their income, but they talk about prizes and how much something costs. And I mean, that also is talking about money because it gives us much information about how a person thinks and works with money.
Yes!
Some things really do seem backward in our world, doesn’t it?
Money is sorta kinda taboo too in my family. Thankfully, we do talk more about money than the other topic (maybe it’s a southern thing). We will discuss percentages and stock tips but we don’t discuss real numbers. For example, my parents don’t know how much my wife and I make (although they have a fairly good idea) and I have no clue how much my parents make.
For me, I wouldn’t mind telling my parents and extended family, except a few of my family members would tell the whole world. I don’t mind if family and friends know how much I make, but, I want to be the person to tell them. In person, so no facts get misconstrued and we can both gauge the tone of the conversation.
Good point!
“Disgusting” seems a bit harsh. Especially considering how obsessed society is with how much celebrities and athletes make.
I love talking about money but I don’t like talking about salary and net worth. I find it creates a weird dynamic with people. People make a million assumptions based on those numbers. I agree that it shouldn’t but it does. I hear people say stuff like “well their rich so they can afford it.” Well maybe they are rich because they are frugal so they don’t want to spend money like you.
I would also hate for my coworkers to find out. Pretty sure that is against company policy.
I will hopefully feel free to more open as I get older and retired from traditional work.
YESSS! I completely understand what you mean.
All of this and more! I agree with other commenters, some people are just oblivious that talking about finances is something we should all be doing. It’s like talking about sugar consumption in America, we all know it’s important, but the general populace doesn’t even think about it (thanks lobbyists).
One other thing about salary that I didn’t see mentioned: one of my co-workers and I always let the other know what our year end bonus/rating is as well as if/when we get raises. By keeping track of each other’s pace, we can lean on management a little, “hey boss, John went x time between raises, I’m approaching x, so how about that raise?” I realize this only works in corporate type environments, but it has so far been pretty useful.
That one Forbes stat “7% of people between the ages of 18-49 have a secret bank account or a secret credit card they keep from their partner”, I wonder what the breakdown is between 18-33 and 33-49. I feel like that is something people used to do a lot more.
That sounds super useful!